Lost Soul Part 2

I spent most of my life trying to outrun the damage left behind by childhood trauma, violence, addiction and mental illness. But no matter how far I ran, chaos always seemed to find me.
From psychiatric wards and substance abuse to dangerous friendships, toxic relationships and nights that spiralled completely out of control, Lost Soul is an unflinching memoir about what happens after survival. Because surviving trauma is one thing. Living with what it turns you into is another.
Set between the pubs, estates and backstreets of Hertfordshire, this brutally honest memoir follows me as I attempt to rebuild my life while being pulled deeper into a world of manipulation, paranoia, violence and self-destruction. At the centre of it all is Janice — charismatic, damaged and dangerously controlling — whose influence drags me into situations that blur the line between loyalty, survival and morality.
Darkly funny, deeply unsettling and emotionally raw, Lost Soul explores addiction, bipolar disorder, fractured identity, toxic masculinity, trauma bonding and the desperate search for peace in a mind at war with itself.
This is not a story about redemption.
It’s a story about surviving long enough to understand the cost of becoming the person trauma created.
Warning: This book contains themes of addiction, violence, suicide, mental illness, abuse and criminal behaviour that some readers may find distressing.